Thursday, August 11, 2011
It hurts
Have you ever had that feeling of being unwanted? You have no idea how tough life can be. How many people are going to hurt you? People say you got to be strong, but guess what? Is not that easy. They just keep coming back. Hurting me once again. It hurts. It hurts so badly. I just wish this could have never happened. I guess I am going to be punished. I have made mistakes. It is not so easy to figure it out. I just wish things could be different. Stop for once. Let me be. It’s better to be alone; nobody can hurt you that way. Dreams don’t come true. Come on let’s be honest. I’m tired of pretending. I’m tired of lies. I’m tired of everything’s that going on. I’m tired of crying. I’m just…tired. Don’t you see how hard it is? How difficult it is to make a choice. To just start again, to pretend nothing’s happening. In reality everything’s wrong. Fairy tales are just lies. And now I feel so stupid and mad at myself. Mad for believing. Upset. I’ve tried to be strong. I really do. It’s like a never-ending battle where nobody is on my side. I feel lost and lonely. I used to think everything was all right. Everything was under control, I felt safe. Now that I’ve opened my eyes, I can see clearly. I could say miracles exist. I could say it’s going to be okay, but deep inside me I know it won’t. Maybe I’m not good enough. I know I’m just another person here. Probably I’m not worth it. I look at my own reflection and I don’t like what I see. I’m never satisfied. I’m sick of bullshit. Do you have any idea of how many wishes I’ve made? How many times I’ve believed. I guess it’s not meant to be. I guess I’m right.
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